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Public Service Announcement
By The Dude | October 5, 2007
I just got up to get some water and almost walked right into a woman of somewhat generous proportions. This brings me to today’s rant.
An open letter to my fellow cube farm dwellers:
Here in the United States, when driving on our roadways we keep to the right. I think it is an unwritten rule that, as a society, we have generally agreed to walk through hallways as we drive on our roadways - by keeping to the right. You can observe this trend in airports (think of the people movers), malls, stairwells, and the aisles of stadiums and movie theaters. I have not been overseas, but I suspect that in countries where people drive on the left, they generally keep left while walking in crowds.
This also applies to cornering; when I want to turn left in my car, I don’t take the shortest path from A to B and cut straight into oncoming traffic while hugging the inside corner of the intersection. Some states even have those dotted lines to mark the lanes as they go around the corner to reinforce this concept among some of our slower drivers. It follows that cornering on foot should also adhere to the same principle.
Why, then, do some of you insist on taking a left in the cube farm by hugging the inside wall?
Don’t you realize that you’re in my lane? How the hell do you people ever make it to work in the morning? The worst is when I’m approaching a corner to take a right, keeping to the inside as the rules dictate, and I can hear you coming up fast right against the corner. I wish I had an air horn so I could blow it in your face when we almost run into each other, but you’d probably spill your scalding hot coffee all over me and then glare at me like it was my fault.
On that note, I’m done saying ‘excuse me’ when we almost crash. It was YOUR fault. I was against the wall because it was my corner to take. I’m going to start speed-walking around this bitch, taking corners with no mercy, WITH hot coffee.
You’ve been warned.
Topics: General Rage, Cube Stories |
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