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Today's Quote

I assume O.J. is kicking himself for not killing everyone in the room, covering himself in their DNA, and going golfing. You have to stick with what works. What the Hell was he thinking?
- Scott Adams

Cube Stories

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Public Service Announcement

Friday, October 5th, 2007

I just got up to get some water and almost walked right into a woman of somewhat generous proportions. This brings me to today’s rant.
An open letter to my fellow cube farm dwellers:
Here in the United States, when driving on our roadways we keep to the right. I think it is an unwritten […]

Freedom of Choice

Thursday, October 4th, 2007

For weeks now, Cube Pirate has been engaged in an utterly meaningless tug of war with the night cleaning crew.  When they come to empty his trash bin, they place it in a different location than where he likes to keep it.  In his cubicle-induced neurosis, Cube Pirate takes this personally.  Convinced they are trying […]

What’s Shabbos?

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007

I told those fucks down at the league office a thousand times that I don’t roll on Shabbos!

Diversity Program

Wednesday, September 19th, 2007

My role in cube land is somewhat amorphous; I kind of make it up as I go. Although this can be a gossamer existence, the upshot is I get to re-invent myself every day. Today I was asked to respond to a request for proposal on behalf of the Human Resource department. The potential client […]

Interviewing for your own job

Monday, September 17th, 2007

The Dude I have to interview with that woman about what I like/dislike about the company tomorrow at noon
The Dude It’s called a “STAY INTERVIEW”
The Dude maybe they have reason to believe I’m a flight risk
Cube Pirate hahahahhahaha
Cube Pirate YOU HAVE AN INTERVIEW WITH THE BOBS
The Dude as;djfklasdl;fjasd;lfkasf
Cube Pirate you’re interviewing for your own job
The […]

Musical Cubes

Thursday, August 30th, 2007

Welcome to the jungle
It gets worse here everyday
Ya learn ta live like an animal
In the jungle where we play
If you got a hunger for what you see
You’ll take it eventually
You can have anything you want
But you better not take it from me.
Hey Cube Pirate, I almost missed out on the tag sale this Monday.
Three of […]

Cube Scavenging Ethics

Wednesday, August 29th, 2007

Today I scored a wrist pad for both my mouse and keyboard from some newly vacant cubes. It feels wrong taking something that your former coworker was using 2 days ago, before they were “reorganized” out of a job. Although, by the time I got in there to see what I could find, […]

Here’s one for the CubePirates chronicles.

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007

Here’s one for the Cube Pirates chronicles. I’ve been in my new office with the deluxe window view of cube hallway for less than one week. Already The Man has devised a way to get me back into a cube. I’ve never had a day’s trouble with my computer, until yesterday. It was crunch time […]

A True Cube Pirate

Monday, August 13th, 2007

These speakers and subwoofer were legitimately taken from another cube by my friend Fives. Notice the shameless plug on the monitor as well. Nicely done if I must say so.

Is this good for the company…

Friday, August 10th, 2007

Now, I don’t exactly have a cube but it might as well be. So about a week ago we had a company meeting in which one of my co-workers was giving a presentation about improving the “positivity” in the workplace. Now, keep in mind he’s 22 and a complete turd. So he’s […]

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